About

I used to think that a home cooked meal was one in which I’d pierced the film lid and stirred half way through its allotted time.

Getting up before 11am at the weekend was a waste of a day, and positively illegal on Sundays when the Hollyoaks omnibus was showing.

Breakfast at midday, then leaving the house at 2pm to ‘go out for the day’ was fine.

Cleaning was something I took pride in, and was done with premium label detergents on a weekly basis, not an hourly one, with baby wipes. What did I ever do without them?!

Being vomited on was embarrassing.

There was one type of poo, which should be flushed down the toilet, not examined for glittery stars or other supposedly inedible objects, and which did not need discussing with anyone.

Then I had children. All of the above changed, but I still can’t live without my Uggs or GHDs!