Be Brave…

Isn’t that something we advise our children a lot? “Be brave.” Whether they’ve fallen over and you can see that silence before the building, inevitable scream, or perhaps they are feeling shy and don’t want to go over and talk to the other children, even though they’d love to join in with their playing, or when we can see the tantrum building as another child takes a toy or pushes your child, because they haven’t learnt how to share yet. There’s a whole host of emotions or scenarios to which we could say those two words. They’re very easy to say, the trouble is, I’m a bit of a hypocrite because, I’m not sure that I could actually be brave in some of the circumstances I expect my children to be. If I hurt myself, I may not have a tantrum, but I will more than likely want to loudly utter a stream of expletives, and if one of my peers acts in a way that I don’t think they should, I have to bite my tongue very, very hard in order to remain dignified! And most significantly for now, would I find it easy to walk up to a group of people I didn’t know and introduce myself in order to facilitate an opportunity that I might otherwise miss out on? Hell no!

That is until yesterday, when I turned into the bravest person I have ever been! Forget the fact the fact that I gave birth twice with no pain relief. Forget the fact that I once ate some mayonnaise without crying. Last night, I joined a choir!

Perhaps the fact that I was a music teacher and before that a semi professional singer makes this action seem like not a very big thing at all, but I was actually shaking all day, before I’d even decided whether I was brave enough to go or not. Just the thought of it was making me nervous! I can’t even explain why. I love singing, adore it in fact. I trained as a classical singer, and did a lot of singing in my late teens and early twenties, but gave it all up when I went down the ‘sensible’ route to a regular wage, and while I haven’t missed the day to day aspects of my job since becoming a stay at home mum, I have had pangs for the performing side, especially classical music.

I put it to a Twitter vote and genuinely would have done what the majority of people told me to do (yes I’m easily led too!). As it was, they told me to go for it, so I got in my car and drove. I’ve got no idea how I found it, I seriously don’t know how I ever coped without Google Maps! I then sat in my car for a bit, dithering about whether to actually go in, or whether to just drive home again, but I kept hearing my dad’s voice talking about fuel prices in my head so (merely so as to not have wasted the petrol!) I went in.

I intended to look around for the person who looked least scary, but I clearly looked slightly scared because this lady asked me if I was okay! I told her I was a potential newbie, and straight away she gave me a massive hug, and introduced me to loads of people. And that was that!

So that was my brave moment of the year so far, and it was worth it! And I know that when my own children need to be a bit brave as they will inevitably need to be at some point, when they ask me if I know how it feels (which they also inevitably will at some point!), I will be able to say “yes!”


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. The Boy and Me (@TheBoyandMe)
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 20:07:54

    Well done you! It must be such a lovely thing, to belong to a choir. I wish I could sing.


  2. frankeeb
    Jan 13, 2012 @ 16:31:58

    That Takes guts Mrs! I well done. I hope you enjoy it!


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