What If…

A while ago, a student I teach came to see me. They were considering applying for a place at a very prestigious insitution to further their education. Although it was what they wanted, they had many concerns. I advised the student in question that applying brought about no consequences, but what it did do was remove the ‘what if’ factor. They would never look back on this point in their life, wondering if they could have followed a different path. They would either,

  • Apply, and decide it wasn’t for them
  • Apply, and not be successful

Or, they may:

  • Apply, be successful and make the changes in their life to follow this path.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen my very overexcited Twitter feed as I got the news that the third possibility had in fact been the outcome. However, whatever the outcome had been, this student would not have been able to have any regrets.

This scenario really struck a chord with me, because although I can dish out the advice, I’m also a right wuss and I’m always the one to play it safe. My entire life, I’ve ‘played it safe.’ I went to school and worked really hard, I got my GCSEs, I went to Sixth Form and did my A levels. The most rebellious thing I did at school was truant a biology lesson in Year 13, but I only did that so I could get my English essay in on time!

After Sixth Form, I went to University, got my degree, went to teacher training college, got my PGCE, got myself a job, met myself a husband, got married, had children, and here I am today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with my lot, but I’ve always done the safe option. I considered trying to become a professional singer in my late teens, but then chickened out because it wasn’t what my family wanted, it would’ve meant leaving my home town, and it wasn’t stable in terms of work and therefore income.

For the first time in my life, I’m now considering ‘taking a risk.’ After 10 years, I’m considering leaving my job, and for the first time ever, I’m considering moving away from my home town. While I’ve always loved my job, and if I have to ‘go’ to work, I can’t ever imagine doing a different job, I’m considering a couple of paths that would enable me to stay at home with the children and still earn some money.

Due to my husband’s job and the opportunities available to him locally, there is also a possibility that relocating could be on the cards. This both excites and scares me! In one sense, the thought of doing something different is fantastic, but the ‘play it safe’ part of me has a milion ‘What ifs’:

  • What if we don’t like it somewhere new?
  • What if I can’t get work?
  • What if we don’t have enough money?
  • What if we’re lonely without our friends and family nearby?
  • What if the schools for our children aren’t as good as the ones here?

Then I guess a different part of my brain rationalises my fears:

  • These are all ‘what ifs.’ What if we do like it, can get work, do have enough money, aren’t lonely and the schools are good?!
  • It’s better to try than have the ‘what ifs.’
  • What’s the worst case scenario and how can it be addressed? 

Part of me also feels that I worked really hard to qualify as a teacher, generally, it’s something I enjoy and find rewarding, and I feel slightly like I’m wasting all my hard work if I stop, and do something different. But then, my rationalising brain steps in and tells me this is a qualification I have, and can come back to if I miss it.

I’d love to hear if anyone’s either given up a profession, or relocated, partly to find out if what I’m feeling are normal concerns, or if I’m slightly losing the plot over something that’s not that big a deal, and also because I’m quite nosey and enjoy hearing about people and lives!

It sounds quite cheesy, but I’ve always been a believer in fate, so I guess if it’s all meant to happen, then it will, and if it’s not, well, I have a job, I don’t hate my job, and I have a family who I love very much, so I can’t complain!

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: All Change… « itsamumsworld

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