A Dilemma: Ancient or Modern?
18 May 2012 6 Comments
in Family, The Children! Tags: 100th birthday, dilemma, Grandchild, Grandma, Great Grandchild, Great Grandma, guilt, guilty conscience, school, Sports Day
Anyone who knows me will be aware of my complete inability to make a decision. Tea or Coffee? Pizza toppings? Which car park? You name it, I’ve dithered in a completely unneccesary manner about it! In fact, I’m verging on being slightly OCD about it, and sometimes I will actually just ask the children and see what they say, but that causes the issue to escalate if their vote isn’t unanimous! Thankfully though, generally these quandries are over small, inconsequential things. No-one’s life depends on them, and no-one will be upset by them.
The thing is, I now have a dilemma on my hands. I’ve made my decision (a first time for everything!), but I know a lot of people are going to think I’m wrong, and I’m always going to think about this with a guilty conscience whatever I decide – there’s no right answer to this one.
Next month, my daughter has her first Sports Day. She is already very excited about this special event where all the parents come and watch, and they’ve already started making things in preparation with Olympic themes. Although it’s probably not the biggest event in her school life, it’s another first for her, and something she is looking forward to and pretty much counting down the days until.
What she doesn’t know however, is that on this day, my Grandma will turn 100. My only living Grandparent, and probably the family member who’s stood up for me and who I’ve been closest to my entire life.
So my dilemma is this: Do I celebrate my Grandma’s 100th birthday with her, or does my daughter take part in her first ever Sports Day which she is so very much looking forward to?
Not many people get to celebrate a 100th birthday do they? And I honestly think my Grandma is just trying to ‘hold on’ for her 100th birthday, she hasn’t got long left I know that, I’ve been to see her in hospital and ‘said goodbye’ four times now, and my daughter’s Sport’s Day? Well, there’ll be plenty more of those won’t there, in fact give it a few years and the novelty will probably have worn off all together! It’s pretty obvious what I should do isn’t it?
So why is it that the decision I’ve made, is in fact the opposite? I feel like the decision I’m making is really selfish, but I also feel like I have to do it this way. My Grandma is very fragile. She lives in a residential care home (a very lush one with chandeliers and string quartets at dinner!) but last year she had a stroke. The last time I saw her, she recognised my face, but was unable to hear me clearly or communicate. She wasn’t really aware who my children were, so didn’t flinch when one of the other residents insisted they were her children (yes children, not grandchildren!) and tried to take them back to her room, pinning the picture up that my daughter had drawn for her Great-Grandma. Understandably, my children got a bit upset by this! She also gets visibly distressed when there is so much going on around her that she can’t focus on everything at once.
With this in mind, I have actually made a decision that I will support my daughter going to her Sports Day, and miss seeing my Grandma on her 100th birthday. I’m not sure if I feel guilty because it’s the wrong decision, or whether I feel uneasy because I know a lot of other people will think it’s the wrong decision, mainly the other members of my family. I just feel after a lot of thought that if I go and see my Grandma the next day, or the day before, she may not be as upset as my daughter would be if she missed something that was really important to her, and that in reality, she will be aware of missing a lot more. I am also pretty confident, that should I be lucky enough to reach that age, I would insist that my Grandchild made the same decision. I’m not snubbing my Grandma (or am I?) I love her to bits, and am desperate to share her special day with her, I’m just so torn. I’d love to hear what you would do, though if you think I’m totally out of order, please tell me in a nice way because I’m going to end up upsetting someone whatever I choose!
Thank You for the Music?
10 May 2012 1 Comment
in Family, The Children! Tags: 3 year old, 5 year old, Disney, Jessie J, Katy Perry, Maxi Cosi, Miley Cyrus, music, music teacher, parenting, Price Tag, Spotify, Tangled
The second we get in the car, my children start deliberating over which song they’d like to listen to first on the journey. Up until quite recently it’s usually been something Disney related, with the Tangled soundtrack featuring pretty highly. My son also has a soft spot for “Dingle Dangle Scarecrow,although he’s gone off that a bit in the car as he finds the confines of his Maxi Cosi a little bit restricting for its accompanying choreography!
As a music teacher, I’ve come to appreciate a huge range of musical styles and genres, and my husband is very passionate about music too. He tends to favour the more critically acclaimed artists, often finding my tastes incredibly cringeworthy and frequently sniggers that my ‘Guilty Pleasures’ playlist on Spotify actually contains most of my library!
Recently however, I’ve noticed that the children have been starting to enjoy more grown up music. I’m not talking the swearing every other word type, just the next step up from Disney! I’ve found it quite endearing seeing them dancing and singing along to Miley Cyrus, thinking how cute and innocent it all was, but my daughter got me thinking this morning when she’d requested Price Tag by Jessie J on the way to school. The reason she and my son love this song is for no other reason than right at the start she says “Coconut Man!” This never fails to produce uncontrollable fits of laughter from both of them. They then happily sing along to the chorus. The thing is though, this morning, my daughter asked me “Why isn’t it all about the money? What does Jessie mean?”
Thankfully, this is a song with a nice message , but they also love dancing around to the poppy Katy Perry singles, so how long will it be before she’s asking me what ‘sex on the beach’ is or what ‘menage a trois’ is all about?! These are songs that are frequently played on the radio, so should I be avoiding them because they’re only 3 and 5? I’ve never really been the ‘sheltering’ type, but I’m also not sure I was expecting the whole birds and the bees thing just yet either!
I’m probably reading too much into it again, but my daughter is bright and if she’s starting to try and make sense of the lyrics and question their meaning, surely I should encourage this new level in her learning? So is it all innocent fun, or am I already at that stage where I’m going to have to start censoring things?!
Given that my daughter was only proudly telling all of her teachers yesterday that she stayed up until midnight at the weekend (for a very special occasion!) and that she made a MacDonald’s chip carton during ‘art’ at school for no reason at all yesterday, I’m growing ever fearful that I might soon get a reputation that I really don’t want! So tell me lovely people, is it time to act?!
See You Soon…
23 Apr 2012 2 Comments
in A Little Bit of Me, Family, The Children! Tags: emotional, going away, play date, pre-school, sahm, school, separation, sleepover, stay at home mum
My daughter is five next week, so quite possibly what I’m doing today is long overdue, but it really doesn’t make me feel any easier or happier about it. I am leaving my children overnight for the first time! I don’t know why I feel so bad about it, but I honestly think I’m going to spend my entire train journey bawling my eyes out like an over emotional loon! We’ve had nights apart before after all, both of them have been to sleepovers at their friend’s houses and I used to leave them all day, which is surely more obvious to them owing to the fact that they’re awake!
I just feel that this is a real milestone, because up until now, any nights we have spent apart have been for them, and they’ve done the ‘going away.’ This time, I will be putting them to bed, and when they wake up I won’t be there, and I won’t be back in time to put them to bed either, so it will be the first complete day of their lives I won’t see them for. Most of you probably think I’m weird for feeling like this, it’s only a day after all. Some people are probably very jealous that I’m going to have a whole day of hot tea and unaccompanied wees, but I’m dreading it!
Since giving up my job last year, I spend so much time with the children it’s like they’re part of me, and I just don’t feel quite right without them. A few hours is lush of course but I’m going to miss them so much.
I know the children will be absolutely fine, and they don’t feel the same as me, in fact they can’t wait to have a play date before school so that my husband can get to work on time, and having Daddy pick them up from school and pre school is the ultimate treat! This is the thing, my husband is still here, it’s not even like we’re both leaving them! I just somehow feel like I shouldn’t be going, even though it’s for work and I’ll only be gone 24 hours!
So come on Mums who’ve done it already, how can I stop myself from bawling my eyes out on the train tonight, my eyes are filling up just thinking about it?! Am I freak who just needs to sort myself out, or is this just a normal Mum thing?!
Hen or Chicken?
20 Apr 2012 1 Comment
in A Little Bit of Me Tags: friendship, hen night, hen weekend, marriage, wedding
This weekend I am doing something I vowed I would never do again. I’m a grump and I feel really really guilty for being a grump. Yes this weekend I am going to a hen weekend!
I just don’t ‘do’ hen weekends. Grudgingly I went out for a meal when it was my turn to walk down the aisle, but it really was under duress! Then about four years ago I went to a hen weekend and I vowed it would be my last after I ended up paying £75 for a £5.99 pizza. I found out I was pregnant literally a couple of days before and it meant I wasn’t able to do a couple of the activities, but I was forced to pay for them anyway or risk a lot of bad feeling, and despite the fact I was throwing up left right and centre, and therefore opted not to eat, I was still expected to pay an equal share at the meal, including funding everyone’s wine. On top of that I was forced to buy a shirt that was never in a million years going to fit over my 34FFs AND wear it. So essentially I felt like rubbish and looked like rubbish and had to pay money that I didn’t have for the privilege, just so as not to upset anyone.
In five years I have managed to avoid any kind of hen weekendness, but this weekend I mustn’t avoid it, because the person getting married is someone who I love to bits and I would be a very horrible and selfish person if I wasn’t there. They’ve made a real effort not to make people feel exactly how I do about the whole thing, but this Saturday I’m going to be one of those women that I cringe at on the rare occasions that I find myself out and about on a Saturday night!
I know that when I get there, it will be lovely to spend time with my friend, and it won’t be anything like the way I’m playing it in my head. There’s no pink theme, it’s not all about the willies and I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be an enjoyable experience, I just have to snap out of my scaredy cat mentality, and let my hair down, because this is a happy celebration – someone I like and care very much about is getting married! I will repeat this as a mantra until Sunday. Wish me luck and feel free to tell me off for being a grump!
It’s a Nightmare…
17 Apr 2012 2 Comments
in Family, The Children! Tags: 3 year old, dream catcher, itsamumsworld, night terrors, nightmares, sleep, toddler
About 18 months ago my daughter was given a ‘Dream Catcher.’ The person who bought it for her proudly explained that the pink flower shaped wind chime said dream catcher would soak up all of her scary nightmares so she could sleep easily. Despite the fact she was clearly unaware that such sleep interruptions existed, I gritted my teeth and crossed my fingers, knowing that the thought behind the gift was of kindness and love.
Unsurprisingly, for a few nights after this, my daughter was reticent to go to bed for fear that scary thoughts might enter her head, but thankfully it was short-lived, and soon we were back to normal.
Fast forward to now however, and my son, is genuinely getting what I think must be night terrors or nightmares. He turned three last week (where does the time go?!) and at least three nights a week for the last couple of months we have been woken up by his terrified crying. My daughter who now fully understands the concept behind her device (and also appreciates it should be hung up in her window for aesthetic purposes only!) sometimes also wakes and brings said contraption in to try and ward away those negative thoughts!
My son is the best sleeper in the world. I frequently make my friends very jealous when I regale how he stays in bed for longer than most teenagers. Despite being in a bed for nearly a year he still hasn’t twigged that he could get out if he wanted to, so I know that the crying isn’t something he is consciously doing, in fact I don’t even think he is even awake. Either my husband or I just get out of bed and stumble to his bedside, give him a kiss, tell him we love him and we’ll see him in the morning. Generally he will repeat the sentiments, and stop crying instantly, and that’s it, the whole episode is over in less than a minute. At first, he sometimes mumbled something about Captain Hook or a monster, but now nothing apart from tears.
So while we know exactly how to make it stop and have kept it to a minimum, I’d obviously prefer it not to happen in the first place. We’ve curbed the pirate activities a bit even though he loves them, but any more and he’d be sad while he was awake! At the end of the day, he’s a three year old boy, he is going to be exposed to child like fun, and I don’t think that’s what’s scaring him, but then again I don’t know.
Do these sound like night terrors? Any advice would be appreciated as I hate to think of my little man being all scared and upset. Maybe I should buy him a Dream Catcher…!
Review: Cheerios UK: Are You a Lenient Parent?
31 Mar 2012 3 Comments
in Reviews, The Children! Tags: Cheerios, Cheerios UK, Facebook, Nestle, parenting
I was out with my children the other day at a place which we all love, and what I’m about to write doesn’t in any way represent what it is usually like, or to be honest, what it was like this time, but this week, my son cut his back. Not seriously, he just landed on the prickly side of some velcro and somehow managed to slide down it. There was blood and tears, but thankfully it was very superficial. A young boy was also made to cry, because he was scared of the very loud roar which was done right in his face, noses literally touching. A mother was also slapped.
Behind each of these three occurrences was a boy. A boy who dived into the tent inflatable my son was playing in, causing him to fall. A boy fronted up to the baby and roared very loudly in his face completely scaring him, and a boy slapped a mum, who politely but firmly told him that we wait our turn to use the slide.
Each time this happened, the boy’s mum laughed, and maintained that ‘that’s what boys his age are like.’ It did make me question whether sometimes I overreact. Was she right, that all boys are like that, and a bit of rough and tumble is all in a day’s work? Children will be children, I accept that, but if one of mine had made another cry, even accidentally, I like to think I would still address the issue, and try to help them understand why their actions may have upset someone else. My son is no angel!
It’s interesting that on the same day as this happened, I was contacted by Nestle to see if I’d like to review their Easy Yes Campaign. Nestle Cheerios recently commissioned some research which revealed that today’s mums tend to take a more lenient approach to parenting, with 42% claiming they are more lenient than their own parents.
The study questioned mums with children aged six to seventeen so I’m not quite there yet with mine but it does make me question things, and wonder how I will feel about these ideas in the future. I don’t think of myself as being a particularly strict parent, but when I see what other children do get away with I wonder if perhaps I am. I have high expectations but is this a bad thing?
The research shows that mums generally feel very comfortable saying yes to things like letting their children have friends over or playing computer games, but is this just a result of the credit crunch, because inicdentally, almost half of the parents questioned were saying no to requests for clothes and nearly a third don’t get pocket money?
I think Sarah Beeny, a Cheerios ambassador and celebrity mum of four is talking sense. You can read her thoughts and advice on the CheeriosUK Facebook page. Obviously we want to say yes to our children, but it is surely a more important part of our job to help them learn the importance of respect and education and the value of money.
Here’s a collection of some findings from the survey. Did you take part, or can you identify with anything on here?
There’s no one way to be a good parent, I guess at the end of the day we just need to remember that we’re all doing a good job. I’m sure we weren’t all brought up the same way yet we’ve all turned out okay!
Review: Nick Jr. Easter Treats…
30 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in Reviews, The Children! Tags: 2 year old, 4 year old, Dora the Explorer, Dora's Easter Adventure, Easter, Easter Egg, Easter egg hunt, family, Green & Black's, itsamumsworld, Nick Jr., school holidays, Sky, Talk Talk, Team Umizoomi, The Umi City Egg Hunt, Tickety Toc, Tickety Toc Bubbles, Tickety Toc Exercise Time, Virgin
With a daughter who sings ‘We Did It!’ after the successful completion of every mission, and a son who actually believes he is Umifriend, I’m not sure I could think of a more welcome parcel to arrive in the post than a DVD of the Easter specials of both of these programmes (especially when it also contains a wonderful Green & Black’s Easter Egg for me)! We really are on Cloud 9!
That’s exactly what happened on Wednesday, and we were so excited to get to have a sneaky peak at some of the Easter fun that Nick Jr. (Sky 615, Virgin 715, Talk Talk 318) has in store for us over the holidays.
The fun starts today at 4:30pm when you can see Dora’s Easter Adventure. Tune in to watch Dora and Boots as they attempt to retrieve the Hip-Hop-Bunny’s basket filled with eggs and treats for their big Egg Hunt, after naughty Swiper swipes it and throws it far, far away into the Rainbow Garden and towards a waterfall. With catchy songs, itchy-scratchy flowers, a Petting Zoo and a giant rubber ducky, you’re certain to enjoy it as much as my little darlings did!
You can also catch The Umi City Egg Hunt in April. I know my children aren’t the only ones who stumbled across, then became huge fans of Team Umizoomi when it started last year. This Easter special sees sibling superheroes Milli and Geo, along with their robot best friend, Bot, helping their pal April find the most special egg of all – The Rainbow Egg. When the egg falls down a rabbit hole, the tiny Team discover the amazing world of rabbits which lies just below the ground. Will they get across Rabbit Town to the egg factory before the rainbow egg is scrambled?!
As if that wasn’t enough excitement, Nick Jr. are also introducing a brand new weekday morning show next month, launching on Monday 23rd April at 8:15am. Tickety Toc lets us into the secrets of what happens inside the Tickety Toc clock, which hangs on the wall of an old clock shop. Every hour, on the hour the clock chimes, and out pop the little heroes Tommy and Tallulah, but what happens when they go back inside? Each episode takes them on an action packed adventure, which challenges them to save the day, return life to normal and keep the clock ticking. Teamwork, compromise, problem-solving and interactivity help them through their action packed adventures!
While I’m incredibly excited about all this lovely weather and spending lots of family time outside, we’re also very much looking forward to following some of our favourite characters on their new adventures in some of those rare moments when the children actually give in and accept they need a little sit down!
For more information and fun activities based around these and other Nick Jr. programmes, head on over to their website www.nickjr.co.uk
For the purpose of this post, I was very kindly sent a DVD of the programmes mentioned.
What Have I Done?!
29 Mar 2012 5 Comments
in Family, The Children! Tags: 2 year old, 4 year old, education, family, speech, toddler
I remember teaching a lesson a few years back when I completely reversed all genders, referred to all the hes as shes, mums as dads and Sirs as Misses. The point? To show the students how they have come to accept some things just as they are, because that’s how they have always been. But if they had been taught from birth that actaully ‘Mum’ is called ‘Dad,’ then they would just have acccepted that as normal. It probably sounds very confusing, but it worked in the concept of what we were doing!
However, I’m discovering that perhaps this isn’t so far from reality. This morning, we couldn’t leave the house until my son had finished his papple and put his Stompasaurus on. My daughter still doesn’t like poddy and there is always one wissy missing.
The trouble is, as the children are older, I’m now trying to convince them of the correct names, but they’re not having any of it! Their mispronounced words as babies which were oh so endearing then, have well and truly stuck, and if I try and suggest that papple is actually called juice, I get laughed at like I’m insane, I’m clearly confused! I think people must look at me like I’ve lost the plot sometimes!
Please tell me I’m not the only one!
The Gallery: Extreme Close Up
28 Mar 2012 7 Comments
in Family, The Children! Tags: baby, close up, itsamumsworld, Sticky Fingers, the Gallery
I never realised how dependent I was on my iPhone until it went wrong! Over the past couple of weeks I haven’t been able to tweet, Facebook, blog or lose at Words with Friends. I’ve missed it so much, but at least the weather’s been on my side!
However, having logged in today and seen that this week’s Gallery theme is Extreme Close Up, I thought I’d join in and get back into the swing of things! I’m sure I’m not going to be alone in terms of my interpretation of the theme, but here’s my picture. It had to be this one. This is my daughter who will be five in a few weeks, where does the time go?! She was going through a curious phase here, and although I was still going through my sleep deprived stage, I have a feeling she actually took the picture herself!
This is exactly why I love the Gallery. As well as discovering new people and pictures, it helps you remember old ones! You can pop over to Tara’s blog at Sticky Fingers and check out the rest!
There’s no escape…
23 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in Family, The Children! Tags: 2 year old, 4 year old, family, stay at home mum, tantrum, teenager, testing boundaries, toddler
A long break between posts wasn’t something I was anticipating, however, it seems I’ve been busy being integrated into a world I didn’t think I was really part of. You see, my children are good children generally, very well behaved, but over the last couple of weeks my son has entered into his ‘testing the boundaries’ stage. I believe this is a politically correct way of saying he’s been a little… ok you can enter the word.
Yes, over the last fortnight, my son has gone from being a cute cute cute, if slightly cheeky little scamp, to having real issues with boundaries. The trouble is he’s still just so damn cute cute cute that it’s incredibly disarming!
He’s discovered the power of thought, realising that now, sitting on the sorry step is actually preferable to doing most of the requested tasks. Have a sit down or tidy up the toys? In reality, I know which I’d choose! He decided he couldn’t be bothered to eat his peas the other day. He likes them, but scooping them up and getting them to his mouth is just effort, so he ‘accidentally’ threw the plate on the floor, and responded in a super cute voice “Oh well, I have ice cream!” How can I be cross when he’s genuinely hilarious?! I try to stand my ground I really do, even though I know this is just something he has to go through, and if what he was doing was making me completely miserable or making other people think negatively of my children or my parenting I’m sure I’d feel differently, but I just can’t help but snigger. I’m so immature, it actually takes me back to my teaching days, when even as a 30 year old woman I still found it difficult to keep a straight face if a loud trump escaped one of my students!
With all the evidence, the perfect growl, stubbornness, an inability to back down, a preference of doing nothing over something, and the fact that he has a bottomless pit and frequently has to be dragged out of bed at 10am at the weekend (yes, sorry to rub it in if you don’t have a sleeper!) I can only conclude that my son has become a teenager 11 years prematurely, help!
But could you get cross with this?!
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